Without music I just wither away and die. It’s sad, but it’s true. I just can’t function. I’m just not me. I become some kind of vague being, completely devoid of all identity; at a complete loss of character. My limbs dangle limply from my torso, just hanging there in the empty breeze. I appear vacant, without any energy inside me, incapable of anything but wallowing; crawling sluggishly about in bland dimensions.
But there’s always going to be times without music, when life takes to a transparent rhythm. A kind of pause. When all reason and meaning is non-apparent, completely hidden; just blind hands feeling through the nothingness. It’s inevitable. It’s even beneficial. It’s the transition which we are oft to make; the end of which, although not visible flickers somewhere off behind the shade. Excruciating moments of silence force us inwards, into reflection. With great reluctance, we delve deep inside ourselves and sift through the scraps and shards of anxiety, fears, worries; the remnants at the very bottom of our bowels. Without proper distraction we are forced to face them, just trying to make some sense of it all. And eventually, thankfully, we will.
Because then the music comes back. Eventually. The needle crackles, searching for the groove. And when it finds it- all manner of colours and shapes burst upon you. Curious scents and fragrances flood in through the senses. Your limbs begin to tingle; veins coursing with electricity. The melody vibrates through you, right to the beat of your heart. You feel alive, a once again awoken being, rabid for more and more. Dancing inside. Grabbing, clutching, clawing at the rhythm, which almost instantaneously sweeps you away. And then, when you’ve fully accepted it, you begin to flourish, bursting open your petals and soaking up its energy, as though it was your sun. It is your sun! It brings you, the whole of you, the entirety of your very spirit back into your body, your this-world vessel, to scream, shout, twist and gyrate; so happy that once again you are drunk on its essential presence…
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